Deplorable Movies and otherwise

I watch a lot of movies, it's my one one of my guilty pleasures. Recently, I watched a brace of "trendy" movies issued recently, that have garnered a lot of critical acclaim and attention.

My God, how depressing.

Closer: With Julie Roberts, Jude Law, and still not quite adult enough Natalie Portman. Well acted, but a story that did not need to be told, and one that I certainly did not need to watch. An abundance of somewhat senseless cursing throughout, to the point that it really began to bother me, a former sailor... Moral of the story: Feign forgiveness, as an excuse to get what you want, then live a thoroughly mediocre life, never knowing if you are in love. Blah.

Sideways: Well acted, effectively shot movie, but absolutely without any value, worth, or merit. Do I need to see two 40something men act incredibly selfishly for 2 excruciating hours? I did enjoy the excellently written allegorical prose about wine, and what it means to those that love it. That was good. The rest, completely immoral rubbish. At one point, I was convinced that Paul Giamatti's character was digging through his closet to pull out a gun and liven up the script by killing himself. Alas, he merely retrieved his prized bottle of Pinot and proceeded to surreptitiously drink it in a diner from a styrofoam cup with a burger and onion rings, alone. This movie angered me it was such a waste of time. I hated it.

Garden State: I enjoyed this movie. I understood it. And as Zach Braff's very first film, it's magnificently done. It's well done by anyone's standards, let alone a freshman movie maker. However...it was a story that really really really did not need to be told. I liked the movie, but wish that I did not invest the time towards it. Cinematography was great, movie moved along at an appropriate pace, acting was first rate, and the music was also well done. But why this story Zach? Surely there are some ideas in your head that will contribute to those that see them, right? Please? Worth knowing about, as far as what Zach Braff can achieve, but as a movie, not worth seeing if you live a busy life.

Spanglish: This movie is inexplicably billed as a Comedy. Okay, someone please help me, what is funny about a disfunctional family and a couple ripped apart by sexual distraction, and children's lives irreparably altered selfishly and needlessly? Yes, this movie features the very attractive new talent of Paz Vega as the house keeper, and the entire movie is very well made, with tremendous craftsmanship and lighting, angles, and exceptionally well edited. I will agree that it's a well made movie, but it's a horribly mislabled movie. Having said that, I must admit that Cloris Leachman was absolutely brilliant in this film, and quite funny. I richly enjoyed every scene with her in it, but there were not many to be had.

After the Sunset: This is a movie made purely to make money. It has no redeeming value and makes no new inroads into the formulaic process of bringing beautiful people to the big screen. But wow does Salma Hayek look great in this movie! The movie's script bobbles between cleverness and utterly contemptible crap. The jewel heist is enjoyable, the dynamic between Woody Harrelson and Pierce Brosnan is fantastic. Far and away the most enjoyable element of the movie is watching these two maneuver one another. But some of the lines are so cliche, to even think of them makes me wince. Still, the movie ends well, and is quite watchable, and Salma's wardrobe presents her assets quite generously throughout the entire movie. Thumbs up!

So there you have it. The movie that I should discount because it's so trite ends up being my favorite of the bunch. Go figure.